notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
...but I'm trying again. I'd hate to lose 15 years of rambling.

Fingers crossed that it happens this time!

~F
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (spelling bee)
...but I can't imagine not being connected to you fine people, after these 15 years together. And I still read all YOUR stuff-

Find me on Dreamwidth at the same username.

xoxo
F

http://www.newnownext.com/livejournals-russian-owners-update-terms-of-service-jeopardizing-lgbt-content/04/2017/
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (spelling bee)
Even if I really don't post here anymore- I still stalk LJ all the time. And again, I'm hoping I start off the annual round of year-in-review(s).

xoxo
~Fae


What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
Jesus Christ- bought a FARM. Or bought into a farm- joined a community. And as someone who's moved constantly my entire adult life, the thought of a forever home is still entirely mind-boggling. Really.



Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make them, and plan to continue that.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, I don't think so.

Did anyone close to you die?
Nope

What countries did you visit?
None at all. Although I usually put the land here, and I did spend a month in Walhalla, and visit the land of the wyms.

What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
I would like to have a job with benefits and retirement (carried over from last year)- but REALLY, if adjuncting is what it is, it's what it is. I do love my job.

What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 3rd. We'd been 'dating the farm' for a few weeks, and had stopped by after attending an event in the area. Lynn (the owner of our house) wasn't home, so we hung out in her hammock, strung between a big beautiful magnolia and a pecan tree, dreaming about what it would be like to live there. Also, Halloween, when we signed all the papers.

This hammock, right here.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
This is a little redundant, but you know- bought a farm.

What was your biggest failure?
No failures- although it does seem I still didn't write a dissertation.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I still have Crohn's disease, but it's been not too bad this year.

What was the best thing you bought?
Farm.

Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Sweet supportive friends and tribe. My supportive, handy, and hot lover. People who helped us get to yes with the farm loan.

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Lordy. Voldemort, the PEOTUS.

Where did most of your money go?
Farm downpayment, but also the usual rent etc. A chunk on Gertrude (my car), who got a new ac system.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
FARM. And living in community. And people visiting. Oh, and BABY PIGS!

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
Perhaps more aware of my general happiness. There's hard stuff, but in the balance, things are just great.
ii. thinner or fatter?
fatter
iii. richer or poorer?
INCREDIBLY RICHER- if you count being landed gentry :)

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercise, more time with friends. I wish I'd had festival.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting around watching Netflix.

How did you spend Dec 25th?
Tons of delicious food, processed a couple of rabbits, and spend the rest of the day on the couch reading a book about sheep-keeping.

Did you fall in love in 2016?
Can you fall in love with a piece of land? We DEFINITELY dated the farm all fall, meeting and charming all the various members of the community.

How many one night stands?
None, I don't really go in for one night stands.

What was your favourite TV programme?
Well, I watched all of Gilmore Girls- but that was more of a completist thing. Probably the West Wing (I know, old) - but I've been enjoying the West Wing Weekly podcast, so I'm rewatching along with the series, and I find that I really look forward to it.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't have energy for hating anyone.

What was the best book you read?
I read too much to pick a favorite.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Music- not so much my bag. I enjoy it, but don't necessarily seek it out. I know- it's weird.

What did you want and get?
A farm

What did you want and not get?
A permanent professor job with benefits.

What was your favourite film this year?
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Nothing at all. I am happy and satisfied.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
"Crap, THAT doesn't fit???"

What kept you sane?
Lists. Many many lists.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't do this either.

What political issue stirred you the most?
The election.

Who did you miss?
The women and the land. Much more than I can express. More travel, more friends this year.

Who was the best new person you met?
I met this really nice woman at Womonwrites, and am enjoying to get to know here a bit.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Anything is possible!
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (spelling bee)
And so I'm posting mine, instead of stalking LJ hoping other folks will do one too. Thanks, avnerd, for getting it started.

What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
Applied for a really big job, with full benefits and retirement and everything.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make them, and plan to continue that.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Grover had Ember.

Did anyone close to you die?
E's sweet old dog died, right before she returned home from the woods.

What countries did you visit?
Just this one and Fernland.

What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
I would like to have a job with benefits and retirement.

What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Leaving the land early to come home for the new job.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I taught a full load of classes, including seated students for the first time.

What was your biggest failure?
Well, I didn't get the permanent job.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I still have Crohn's disease, but it's been not too bad this year.

What was the best thing you bought?
New computer.

Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Sweet supportive friends and tribe. My supportive, handy, and hot lover.

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
People with guns.

Where did most of your money go?
Rent, utilities, and whole lot on 'professional grown up clothes' for the above-mentioned job.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Oh, the farmlet in general. It's so stinking beautiful here.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
happier? Maybe about the same. The happiness level's been pretty constant, these last few years.
ii. thinner or fatter?
fatter
iii. richer or poorer?
It's a mixed bag- I'm probably a little poorer overall- BUT I'm making an entire living from adjunct teaching. That's new.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercise, more time with friends. More time in the woods.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting around watching Netflix.

How will you be spending Dec 25th?
We're roasting the ham we made from Acorn the pig, with a bunch of delicious sides, and watching a Kung Fu Panda double feature.

Did you fall in love in 2015?
No.

How many one night stands?
None, I don't really go in for one night stands.

What was your favourite TV programme?
Grey's Anatomy (Not sure this is true for the entire year, but we're working our way through the entire show...I'm a little obsessed with these crazy people). OH, also the Great British Bake Off. And the last season of The Newsroom.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't have energy for hating anyone.

What was the best book you read?
I read too much to pick a favorite.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Music- not so much my bag. I enjoy it, but don't necessarily seek it out. I know- it's weird.

What did you want and get?
The ability to make a living teaching.

What did you want and not get?
A permanent professor job with benefits.

What was your favourite film this year?
Star Wars.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I'd have liked to be on the land until the end.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
"Wait, does this cover my tattoos?"

What kept you sane?
Lists. Many many lists.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't do this either.

What political issue stirred you the most?
Black Lives Matter

Who did you miss?
Not enough time with my kid this year.

Who was the best new person you met?
No new extra special friends, but I'm loving the ones I have better.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
Sometimes you have no control over the plan.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (spelling bee)
I know, I never write here anymore. But I DO still read this, once a week or so...except I hadn't since arriving here at Walhalla. And this morning you were all right here. It was like sitting down for tea and a check in with a bunch of people. So good- thanks for sharing what's going on in your lives.

It's surprisingly good being here this summer, after last year's oh so hard. Probably this is because (although I'm sad about the ending), I HATE not knowing the plan. At least now we know. But I'm taking on lots of new big things, which was true last year as well, and even when that sucks, it's a comfort to say "well, at least I won't be doing THAT again." Last year was all big new things and TENSION, all the time. I'm a delicate flower: it was really hard, and I was entirely certain that this would be my last Walhalla year.

Today, for instance, here in the cone that is LJ, I'll be scheduling all the workshops (on the order of 300 or so) into 24 areas, trying to meet hundreds of women's particular needs around shade, ground flatness, and availablity of stuff that we already said they can't have. It's like a giant jigsaw puzzle, and I'm going to spread it all out on a pool table (because dykes) and hope for the best. Fingers crossed that I don't put Treehugging and Self Care into the same spot/same time as Cuddle Dating. Although I suppose you could cuddle a tree.

Anyway. It was good to have the reminder that we're all still here. Perhaps I'll have some feelings, later on. But for now, I'm going to go gird my loins with 3 sizes of post-its, 3 colors of highlighters, and half a ream of paper.

Wish me luck.

~F

The Bog

Feb. 27th, 2015 01:56 pm
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (spelling bee)
I am told that it's possible to cross post from Wordpress to here, and I'm trying to figure it out. So watch this space! Regular lj posts perhaps coming.

xoxo
F

Edited to add: too complicated. But I will try to remember to post links over here when I update.

Here's the backlog:

https://speciesconfusion.wordpress.com/2015/02/24/schroedingers-bunnies/
(in which I discover that 'fucking like bunnies' is actually pretty complicated)

https://speciesconfusion.wordpress.com/2015/02/25/followup-rabbit-glamour-shots/
(cute rabbit pictures)

https://speciesconfusion.wordpress.com/2015/02/26/snow-day-with-cabbage-salt-and-time/
(recipe for Horseradish and Leek Sauerkraut)
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (spelling bee)
It's been bumming me out to not write about this on facebook, but a friend suggested I keep the accident off of there, in case we end up in a lawsuit.

However, if you didn't catch it for the half day my post was up, my (new to me, wonderful) car was t-boned in the parking lot of my favorite local grocery last week. I was making a left turn, while the traffic was stopped for the light, and the guy to my right waved me across. Woman came up behind 3 stopped cars, swung around them on the right, drove up onto the curb, and hit me while I was pulling into the parking lot. Then she straightened out her car and stopped in the road. Total damage to her car: the vanity plate on the front fell off.

Mine?
IMG_20140319_103359_748


After the accident, she was perfectly fine to rummage around in her backseat for something, but by the time the FIRETRUCK AND AMBULANCE she'd called showed up, she was unable to even open her car door for the officers. Paramedics carried her to the stretcher, then she left in an ambulance. When I asked the paramedics if she was okay, the guy ROLLED HIS EYES at me and said "oh, she's FINE".

The cops say there's no one clearly at fault since I say she was driving illegally, and she says there was no other traffic there at all, I just randomly pulled in front of her as she was driving down the road.

If I get found at fault, I have to pay to fix her (vanity plate), for her trip to the ER in ambulance, the ER visit...could be a massive amount of money. If she's found at fault, then she has to pay to fix my car. On the positive side, the dent in my car is clearly on an angle, because her wheel was up on the curb. So I'm feeling hopeful, but without a police report that clearly says she was at fault, it could still go either way. Also, the cashier in the grocery watched her dig around in her backseat (before she was unable to move enough to even open her car door)...so I've got some support for the argument against any injury. Still. It could be A LOT of money. Please think good thoughts.

The waiting to find out is driving me NUTS.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (spelling bee)
... and you wouldn't think that would be news, given that:

a) it's december
and
b) we hadn't spoken in 7 or so years, when I went home for my grandpa's funeral. It was the only time in nearly 20 years that I'd seen my family.

I found out in a fucked up way, randomly managing to get signal in my tent at festival, seeing a note from my cousin, the only one I'm in touch with on my fb, saying that grandma was ill, probably dying. The note was a few days old. So I ran up to gals, borrowed an AT&T phone from a friend (since they get signal on the land) and searched for her obituary. It came right up.

I lost my shit. That she'd died, and I hadn't known, that her funeral was that very day, only 120 or so miles from the land. I could have gone, and I was totally flattened with grief. I walked around for days asking my crew to respect the (totally real feeling) bubble around me, and fell out weeping on my lover's shoulder time and time again. I finally, and this is how very sad I was, succumbed to the woo and had acupuncture in hopes that anything could pull me out of the cycle of sad, and it worked. Huh.

You know, I'm mostly okay with not being in contact with family. It's at least 50% my choice, or at least was in the beginning, and now I don't know anymore if it's ill feelings, or habit, or choice, or happenstance. It just is. But Christmas is always hard. When I was a kid, Christmas Eve at grandma's was always the best part of the year, most of my happiest memories are tied up in it. Unadulterated good. And this year, not only was I not there, but there was never ever ever going to be the chance for that again. It's unfixable.

So I spent Christmas Eve and much of Christmas day crying, remembering, grieving. Once we're settled, I'm going to make her Christmas eve dinner, feed it to all my friends here. Grandma would approve (although god knows she wouldn't have approved of ANY of my friends...when I brought DC home for Christmas the first year, she called him Mary all night, due to his shoulder length hair). In my own way, I'm as reactionary as she was, and as good a cook. It's good to remember.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
Kind of shocking. But I had this big epiphany today, and I want to share it...I've been busy house-setting-up: painting, moving my limited furniture around, and pretending the pile of boxes is really a dresser. And so far, I really don't use my (pretty large) living room AT ALL. Maybe I sit in my big red chair once a day, but mostly I hang out in the office/dining room. It's a great space, lots of woodwork, a big bright window, and most of my favorite stuff. I just curb-scavenged this great little ancient sleeper sofa, and it's so comfy, I really never leave.

I've been kicking around names for the room...because frankly office/dining room leaves a little to be desired. In our Iberville house, my room was the library, but the books are all going to be in the living room, so that doesn't work. I've been jokingly calling it the multi-purpose room, but that sucks too. And this morning, when I was moving the (insanely heavy) little sofa to it's 3rd spot in 3 days, I had this total moment. I remembered being a kid, and visiting my grandma's house. Now, most of the house was either public space or Grandpa's space. He had a big office, and the whole labyrinthine basement was his workshop...but when I was very very good, I got to hang out in Grandma's 'bunny room'. God only knows why it was called that, I can't ask, they're both dead. But Grandma's bunny room had her desk, and her sewing things, and shelves with beautiful plants, and a cozy little sofa, and it was my favorite place in the whole house.

So you know, apparently I have a bunny room.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
It's my last day here in California, and I am sick and miserable...but it's making me so happy to read people's year-round-up. It's inspiring me to write a little, and as always, the daily fashion game makes me smile. Plus, it's my very last day in lesbian garanimals (single suitcase, four months). So, for the curious, here's what I'm wearing today (along with city of purchase, since it occurred to me that I'm wearing mostly purchases from the road:

Wooly purple and red slippers (bought onine and mailed to Biddeford, Maine)
(later red cowboy boots, bought online and mailed to Walhalla)
Black wool tights (sock man, manhattan)
Black and grey striped leg warmers that used to be tights, and then were thigh high stockings and now are legwarmers.
Old Navy denim pencil skirt (purchased in Brooklyn, I think, to replace the same skirt after it ripped in Syracuse)
Purple cotton long sleeved scoop-necked tshirt (Durham, I think, at the Whole Foods)
Blue/grey/greenish merino long sleeved shawl-collared long sweater with pockets (Ottawa)
Purple fingerless gloves made of merino/possum (yarn shop in Toronto)
Black wool sheep hat (knit by me on the road, mostly in OMB's livingroom, I think)

There's no heat where I'm staying, can you tell? Plus, you know...sick.

Play with me? Pretty please? I could use the distraction.
xoxo

2011

Jan. 3rd, 2012 07:41 pm
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Passed my orals and comps, wrote a prospectus, got a master's degree in passing, drove more than 3,000 miles, rode a train across the country, traveled all over 2 countries and stayed in many many people's houses, some of whom I didn't know at all.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
last year's intention was clarity (thank you lj for the reminder)...I think I kept it pretty well, knew my own mind and tried hard to stay focused my goals. This year's theme is home: making it, STAYING IN IT, building community and a life.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my dear friend Caro had Petra, who she is graciously allowing me to auntie from afar, and Tam had Zora, who I haven't met yet and can't wait to see.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
It's funny, how do we define close? I was close to Sparky, in that in-the-woods kind of way, less so over the last few years, but felt totally reconnected and close again after visiting in the fall. Then she died a few weeks later, and I was totally devastated.

5. What countries did you visit?
Canada! And the west coast twice, which feels like a different country to me. Both of these places have weird compost.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Home. Local community (although whoa I asked for this last year and really got it, thank you goddess and S, D, M, D, P, J).

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and what for?
December 5th, when I met E for our epic cross country train trip, and the day Sparky died, which I am intentionally not looking up. The day I made ABD, finally.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving and thriving (mostly) on my rootless wanderings. Accepting help. Showing up for friends in a more tangible way than I usually get to. Getting lost much less than I could have. OH, and about 100 interviews for my dissertation.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't know that I have one. It was a pretty good year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Several colds (one of which is right now). A few little flares of the Crohn's. Otherwise, thankfully amazingly healthy.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
a lot of train tickets. yarn.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
all the amazing women who opened their homes and lives to me and my project, fed me, let me sleep on their futon/sofa, shiatsu mat, and told me their amazing stories.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh, god. Politics. Can't really think about it.

14. Where did most of your money go?
TRAVEL. Food. TRAVEL.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
going home, starting a new job, passing my exams.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2011?
Can I give you three albums instead? Gillian Welch, the Harrow and the Harvest. Lucinda Williams, Blessed. Feist, Metals.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder
Happier. Much less stressed. Excited about new things.

ii. richer or poorer?
Lordy, poorer. But I have a job!

iii. thinner or fatter?
a bit thinner, I think.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
writing fieldnotes. getting solid sleep.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
worrying about money. missing home and things.

20. How will you be spending the holidays?
I went to Sacramento with E to her 90 year old grandma's house, picked a pomegranite OFF A TREE, cooked a lovely meal, played lots of Settlers. New years was country dancing with lisa and lia, then more Settlers with grover and nova. Lovely holidays.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Still in it.

23. How many one night stands?
Well, I had a couple of great heavy petting dates over the summer. Oh, wait...and the veterinarian. So either one or 3, depending on how you look at it.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang Theory...why didn't anyone tell me about this?

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate last year?
I don't want to participate in this activity.

26. What was the best book you read?
been rereading for comfort for last 7 months, hard to think of anything new.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Yeah, I'm always late to the party. But I got to see Gillian Welch live with OMB and Gilly and it was my best musical moment of the year.

28. What did you want and get?
More love. Through my travels with enough money (just barely) to rent a home. Amazing stories.

29. What did you want and not get?
Can't really think of anything.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really loved Hugo. And the Muppet Movie.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 44, and I spend it with the amazing family of Caro and Petra (I think...is that right? It's all running together). And then a week or so later, I had time-shifted bd on a train.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
can't really think of anything. a good year.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
femme lesbian garanimals (FLG). if it didn't fit in the suitcase, I'm not wearing it. Or yes, THAT dress AGAIN.

34. What kept you sane?
Friends holding me up. y'all, for instance. Harry Potter over the phone. My kindle. Knitting.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I still don't really do this.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Occupy. The upcoming Republican clusterfuck.

37. Who did you miss?
My dog, people in N.O., E, my kid.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I made a good new friend in the woods this year...and became friends or deeper friends with lots of folks who opened up their home. I'm a lucky girl.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
Just do it. It will all be okay. Getting lost is always fixable.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Yeah, I don't have one...but I CAN quote myself. Someone this summer asked me why I don't like dance music, and I told her "I like my music with a little more whiskey and heartbreak." Still true.

(a tip of the keyboard to missm for poking me...it wouldn't be the new year without this meme!)
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
...but I'm actually updating my lj, for the first time in months. Phew.

Okay, start small. It's springtime, y'all! There's birds singing every morning, the lemon tree just burst into bloom yesterday, and I've already got some tiny tomato action going on in the nano-farm outside my door (2 10 gallon galvanized steel tubs). And it's 68 degrees (at 10:30 am) as I write this. I'm always amazed at how fast spring goes here. One moment it's still cold and damp, and the next EVERYTHING is blooming and the grass is going nuts.

I survived my third mardi gras, mostly by only doing the stuff I like (several lovely parades) but not as much of the stuff I don't like (drunken carousing in the quarter). This is not to say that there's anything WRONG with the drunken carousing...I enjoy the pictures. But frankly, big crowds of drunk people are way on my top 5 least favorite things list, no matter how spectacularly decorated they are.

And yesterday, M and I went to the St. Patrick's Day parade, which I have wanted to attend since back when I still lived in Louisville. They throw PRODUCE from the floats, it's perfect for me! We caught SEVEN cabbages, one of which I made into colcannon for dinner last night, and there's corned beef and cabbage planned for later today. And drunk irishmen give you lots and lots of flowers, which is fun but also weird...many men asked me if I really was 'delicious'. To which is the answer is, of course, yes...but you'll never find out.



Since I last wrote, I studied like a maniac for my comprenhensive exams, which I've passed. One more hoop closer to being ABD....I have my spanish translation exam at the end of the month (as well as defending my dissertation prospectus) then orals at the end of April, and then I'm free of Tulane for the foreseeable future. My fellowship runs out at the end of May, and then I don't get paid anymore, though. Eeep. I think I'm going to be fine until I get to the woods, and I'm subletting out my place for the summer and onward. Lots of big change afoot, and big plans for my research year, but that's a post for another time.

So. Nothing giant to report, but look at me, breaking the seal.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
Crazy, right?

Have any of you ever tried to make sourdough from scratch? I've been baking since I got into the new house, for something to do, and also because it's one less thing to buy during this time of rent/deposit/trip to new york recovery. I just started my own starter (because clearly I need another pet)...and I have to say, I think it's doing it's thing ALREADY, despite the directions saying it might take a full week to gather enough wild yeast from the air and get bubbly. It's weirdly exciting.

Of course, given all the mold and humidity and stuff, I guess it's likely that we have more wild yeast in the air too, that sort of makes sense. Anyway, I'm curious to hear if anyone else has tried this, and what their experience was like.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
Okay, you know I love this game...

Today I'm writing,meeting with an advisor, and working on my spanish, (later to join Mags for some packing and Glee-watching) for which I am wearing:

Shitkicker cowboy boots
White knee-high socks with pink and orange stripes
Denim pencil skirt, with the ubiquitous festival bondage belt
Aqua v-necked tank top
Long-sleeved fuzzy cream, brown, and orange striped snug hoodie
usual jewelry
orange and green swirled hairstick
lipstick (I know, you're shocked)

Anyone want to play? (Sugarmommaless, I'm talking to you)...what are YOU doing today, and what are you wearing for it?
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
I'd give y'all a play-by-play, but it would take a really long time. Here's some highlights:

The conference was, well...contentious is the word I've been using. Our panel went well, although we ended up throwing out our academic papers and just talking, both about our research and the impact working at fest has had on our own personal research. It TOTALLY was the wrong crowd for presentation of a research paper. The folks that DID read papers either lost their audience's attention, or their ACTUAL audience. Also, there was an enormous amount of intergenerational conflict, with many older women saying over and over that the young women these days, they all want to cut off their breasts and become men, or have no political analysis, or can't get past heterosexual role playing, or....

It was kind of crazy. Lots of conflict about michigan, lots of people talking past and not to one another, interspersed with moments of amazing brilliance (Urvashi Vaid's section of the 2nd plenary, for instance). I was REALLY GLAD I'd brought my own affinity group along, since many fest womyn were present. Perhaps I'll write longer about the experience at another time. It could definitely be a post of its own.

I died in at Grand Central Station, part of a protest to raise awareness of queer teen suicide: http://gothamist.com/2010/10/09/video_lgbt_flash_mob_stages_die-in.php It was an amazing and spur of the moment decision to join the action, but I'm really glad I did it, and so fun to run into New Yorkers I knew at the event.

Had brunch with 40 fest womyn (some I know well, some not) at omb's beautiful workplace http://www.marcforgione.com. Lovely food, giant very loud crowd of dykes, many hugs. It was splendid to see everyone, but as is my usual feedback after one of these things...I really wanted a half hour alone to hang out with many of the women. I'm just NOT GOOD at socializing in huge crowds. Great to see everyone, though, even if I needed a little lie-down in a quiet room afterwards.

Had many splendid inexpensive meals with many lovely women, although somehow I didn't eat either dim sum or ethiopian food, both of which were on my wish list. I DID go to spa castle, though, thanks to the lovely omb and dana for a day of nudity with lots of strangers, perhaps the cleanest I've been in quite some time. 60,000 square feet of hot water, jets, saunas, and sort of group insanity with hot water. You should totally go, it's crazy good http://nyspacastle.com/eng/main/main.php

Oh, and got treated to tickets for Toshi/Dar Williams on my last night, which was delightful. Toshi didn't play very long, but the whole show was grand, and I feel very lucky to have gotten to go. Did some self-care, through positional therapy with the lovely Emily, so I'm walking a little taller than when I left. Mostly, though, I didn't go SEE STUFF, I hung out with people...got drunk with massage therapists on yoga balls, ate ramen with a dinosaur, went to TWO WINE BARS (god, who am I?), drank many cups of tea and ate many lovely bagels.

Overall, an entirely splendid trip, made way richer by many splendid people.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
Wow, looking for housing here is such a freaking rollercoaster. Most of the stuff on craislist starts at around a thousand bucks, which was roughly twice what I could pay, and thus I went to look at many many dirty closets masquerading as apartments. One place was still totally filthy with the previous tenants stuff, one was across from a pumping station, behind serious security bars, and the size of my bedroom here at the house, and one had no actual kitchen. At all. Just a sink, a mini fridge and a microwave. After two weeks of looking, I was feeling REALLY dejected, and like I'd never be able to find something I could afford, without moving over to uptown and having 6 drunk undergrads in the apartment upstairs, or giving up on having my own private space.

But. I posted this ad on 'housing wanted', and somehow as we got closer to the end of the month, people started to write me back:

- "Mature progressive female graduate student (I'm on a phd fellowship to Tulane) seeking cozy quiet apartment in Midcity (although I'll consider other parts of town). I'd love to have a decent kitchen and bathtub, but don't need a whole lot of space. I'm responsible, quiet, don't smoke, hardly drink and don't play music loud or at all hours. I have a small, quiet, non-barking dog and love to cook and garden. I can fix my own toilet, will leave your space in better condition than when I get it, and have excellent references. I'm looking for something that starts November 1st, but would be happy to pay my deposit right away if I find a good match. I'm specifically NOT looking for a roommate...thanks so much, I'm sure you're lovely, but I really need my own quiet space so I can write".

I was particularly proud of 'mature, progressive'- sounds more approachable than 'old queer', right? Wouldn't you want to rent to me? Lots of people started to write back, most of which clearly hadn't read my ad (one had no stove, one didn't take dogs, couple of people wanted to be my roommate). You get the idea.

...but then Thursday night I got an email from a woman who felt like we might be a good match. We wrote back and forth, and Friday she sent me over to the house to meet her neighbor, Mr. Leonard, who showed me the tiny little carriage house behind a shotgun at Maurepas and Crete (landlady lives in Houston, currently). Mr. Leonard must have been at least 70, and he was so sweet...we had a great conversation about the value of quiet neighbors and people who don't park in front of your house, and he hugged me when we said goodbye.

Although tiny, the unit has TWO ACTUAL ROOMS, which is great for when I have visitors, has a brand new stove and fridge, a tiny bathroom with an ACTUAL BATHTUB, and shares the backyard with the main house, rented by two women who have prayer flags strung across their porch and vegetarian stickers on their car. Could be family, don't you think? Plus there's a shed in the backyard with a washer and dryer, and the landlady says I'm welcome to use them if I work it out with the other tenants. AND there's room for my plants, and my picked-out-of-the-trash outdoor rocking chair.

The woman called me last night, and we're totally set. I'm attaching a few pictures...use your imagination, a bit, since right now it's a little white box. But with my lemon tree outside the door, and some plants in bright colored pots, it's gonna be cute.





notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
Just in case you were wondering.

Actually, it's been a pretty productive day, all things considered. I'm plugging along on my conference paper, getting excited in fits and starts, trying to sew together what I want to say about queers and love at festival NOW with the conference's stated purpose of focusing on lesbians in the 1970s. Maybe I should get some quotes from women who've been around a long time, on how women's choices for partners seem different now from when fest started. If that's true, or not. Plus work on a grant that's due in a month, the first of 8 I'm submitting over the course of this year. And reading, LOTS of reading, more anthropological theory than you could shake a stick at, if you wanted to shake a stick.

And meanwhile, it's EIGHTY-TWO FUCKING DEGREES in new orleans, which is insane. My desk window has been open for 3 whole days and I'm loving the breeze (although not so much the afternoon hs football practice on the next block). And I'm continuing the apartment searching process, and feeling more hopeful that I'll find something both livable and in my budget range.

Still loving the frequent updates from other folks, even if my life is still feeling too complicated and weird to put down in words.

OH! And I leave for New York in a WEEK! Crazy. Still looking for housing for two of the days, but not stressed about it, and hoping like crazy that I won't have to pay a deposit before leaving, so I have cash to at least eat on in the city, but I'm having faith it will all come together. There's some dumplings calling my name.

changes

Sep. 20th, 2010 06:29 pm
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
So. Many of you are on M's flist as well, so have probably seen our news that we are splitting up our household. While I really don't want to process this decision online (phone calls are fine, it's not that we're not talking about it), I DO want to put out the word that I am looking for a small 1 bedroom or studio in New Orleans, preferably in Midcity. So you know, if you know of anything, give me a holler.
notyourmama2: red-haired woman with sheep (Default)
When you read this you're tagged! Take a picture of you in your current state, no changing your clothes or quickly putting on makeup. NO PHOTOSHOP. Show your F-List the Real You! (this is pretty funny...as though I know HOW to photoshop something so it looks better.)


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